Social Skills

The following is an excerpt from the booklet “Building Social Skills” by Community Coordinated Childcare of Union County (NJ), in coordination with Rodger Goddard, Ph.D.

10 Ways to Develop Social Skills in Young Children

1. Encourage your child to play with other children. Invite a neighbor, classmate or cousin over to play for a couple of hours. Keep the visit short and don’t leave the children on their own. Be available to help children get started with a game.
2. Play games with your child so he learns how to share and take turns.
3. Teach your child the words he needs to express himself. “Can I play with the puzzle now?” Remind your child to “use his words” to express what he wants to reduce whining, crying and aggressive behaviors.
4. Teach compromise to a preschooler by modeling it regularly. “We’ll play hide and seek now and later we can play Candyland.” “Since we bought grapes last week for you, today we’ll buy peaches for Louis.”
5. reschoolers who hit or use unacceptable language may do so because they see adults around them acting aggressively. It is important for parents and caregivers to behave appropriately if they expect the children around them to behave.
6. Your preschooler’s anger may get out of control because he cannot verbalize what he wants or needs. If another child grabs a toy from Maria, she needs to be taught the words to say,”I am playing with the doll now; please give it back to me,” instead of hitting or grabbing the toy.
7. Give your child extra time to speak, allowing him time to collect his thoughts and think about what he can say.
8. Do not give in to a child who whines or acts aggressively to get what he wants. Negative behavior is often a call for attention. Do not react to every negative behavior with attention, yelling, and intense emotions, which only rewards your child with a sense of power, attention and involvement.
9. Compliment your child when he does the right thing and acts appropriately.
10. Use distraction to help your child move away from the situation that is causing a problem.